Practice abstinence people!!

Two of my best friends Amanda and.....*drum roll* now Tana have announced 2 weeks apart that they are pregnant. If anyone has read my posts I've been thinking about babies and growing up and my basic general progression to adult hood lately. So needless to say I'm green with jealousy. Not that I even want a baby right now because when I cut right down to it, I'm probably not ready and I'm definitely not where I want to be where I would be in a position to have one, (house/career/money you get the point) . It's the fact that they are at a place in their lives that they feel they are ready and have taken steps (Some more willingly then others). Amanda happy in a relationship and starting a family, Tana the same now, AJ & Jim moving in today and planning to get married, then I hear about Tyler's engagement today as well. Where as I am 25, alone, and living with my parents....Again. Way to rub it in my face GOD! j/k I'm supposed to be happy and oh congratulations blah blah and I am truly happy for both of them it just makes you examine where you are in life you know? So this next year is going to be totally different. With my grandma moving into a home here in the city and two infants on the way, I see a lot of babysitting in my future.

I was talking with Sabrina and saying I'm going to be the "single" friend that all my couple friends are going to try to set up with co-workers or friend of a friends when I'm older. She promised that her and Raynna will probably be there with me. In any case please no one announce any life changes or events for a few more weeks. Swear to god Sabby, Raynna, Jackie, AJ, Jess, Potter, Kandace, Meryl, Chris, Jim, Michael, or even more unlikely T, or anyone else I work with or see on a regular bases is pregnant keep it to yourself for awhile!

I'm so inappropriate

Sean sent me an e-mail with chewy's blog link on it
http://rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh.blogspot.com/ made me laugh

Check this out. I was cleaning house and found some old pics. These feel like a life time ago and it hasnt even been a year

Dedicated to all not any sigular person

STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC!!!!!!!

I'm thinking of upgrading all my friends for normal ones. Yes someone mentioned the boredom. However my life feels exciting or full and I'm insane So that would mean with boredom comes Sanity. I could go for a little sanity right about now. I felt stress today, stress...me. I rarely rarely rarely feel stress...In case you didnt get it stress is rare for me. So no one have any problems or issues or emotional anything in my vacinity for 24hrs. and fyi Cam. If you blow your nose every 5 seconds tomorrow for 8 hrs I'm going to freakin stab you! You can't breathe deal with it! Blowing loudly is not going to clear your fuckin airway magically! It's called being sick fuckin drip in your lap for fuck sakes just shut the fuck up! FUCK! *curtsey*curtsey* I'm done. Love you guys =)

HEY EVERYONE!!!....COME SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK (i'll never get tired of Anchorman ever)

Damn Im cute Im going to change this to my new profile pic... Maybe

Valentines day

Chris got me a dozen roses. Can you believe that? I was stunned, how retarded is it the flowers can mean so much to women.My first true Valentines day gift. I was really touched, I didn't let him know how touched I was, but I did put out. There's a tip to you men. Flowers=sex. You'd think they'd figure it out and buy flowers occasionally year round. I love the...I don't need a day to show my love...blah blah Valentines day is just a marketing scheme... BULL SHIT!!!! Bull fuckin shit! That's what I have to say. So how many times during the year does a man buy a woman ANYTHING "just because" or plan anything romantic unless its depicted by a day ex. Birthday,Anniversary? Never is when. Fuckin rights you need a fucking day. Its our day fuckers! I don't care if Hallmark invented it, its a day where you are shown that the person you're with actually gives a shit. I totally got side tracked. Some ex-boyfriend issues and bad Valentines days there, who knew a girl had so many issues. Anyhoo...Chris bought me flowers and it was cute.

Quick catch up on my worlds

In my home world: My parents decided that since "theoretically" I can afford $600 rent (because that's ballpark what my friends pay for their one bedrooms) on my wages, I should be able to save that much. I pay $200 to my rents and $400 in savings. Its good for me yes, yes I'm aware. However they don't have a car and insurance and gas. I got paid today and with this new "rent" and insurance and all my bills on one cheque...It's not going to happen. I'm going to have to renegotiate these terms.

In the work world: I'm FINALLY off probation, I'm getting my raise that was "frozen" for the last 3 months. I put in my application for a new computer and have a $2100 cheque to shop for one with...Sweet. I also put in for my vacation. I'm taking 18 days off the end of July and going to Vegas for a week. The other 11 days I'm going to do fuck all. Its July I can lay around on my deck in a bathing suit in a drunken stupor in the sun. Stupid 6 months away!

In the love life world: I'm still not really sure about that one. I let Chris know about all the things that were bothering me about a month ago. We mutually decided to take a break and try to figure things out. I haven't figured a thing out however. I suppose, I have learned that I need to lighten up. I can hear my maternal clock ticking away already, which is ridiculous I know since I'm 25. I can't help it. I'm not even ready for kids I know this but it's in the back of my mind a lot. I just want the relationship I have with my mom, with my kids. She had me at 24 and I guess I kinda feel like if I have kids at 30 or older I think I'll be to old to enjoy them when they are my age now. Anyways that's how I'm looking at relationships. I wasted fuckin 4 years almost with Tim. If I waste another 4 years on the wrong guy I'll be 29 and single again. It's unhealthy to have that "is he the one" idea in your brain when starting a new relationship. So I've decided to lighten up.

Chris and I have fun we get along, he knows how to push my buttons that's for sure. I like that he's not a push over which previous boyfriends have been. He can be sweet sometimes. However he does not vocalize what he wants or feels EVER. I'm aware that's just not the type of person he is, but a little goes a long way. He has this... Accept me for who I am, I'm not changing attitude. Sorry, but that's not how relationships work. You need to be willing to compromise a bit, or one person is doing all the sacrificing "trying to accept" the other person, and the person being accepted is not making any sacrifices. Then they in turn are being selfish and not making an effort to accept the other person for who THEY are, and expecting them to change because you are not willing to in return. Which is what you're getting irritated at in the first place making you a big hypocrite. I don't know if that made any sense but I'm not re-writing it because it hurt my brain trying to word it in the first place.

So for now we're on a break. We still hang out, I still have feelings for him of course, I also still enjoy his company. Its a little awkward sometimes because who knows what the rules are for being on a break really?... You're all like.. Is it okay if I touch you like this, or sit like this or should I kiss you good bye? Is that not appropriate?..blah blah it's like you're on first date ALL THE TIME. I'll tell you one thing. If we decide to be just friends that's a whole new territory for me. I'm a very affectionate person and having been affectionate in a relationship switching to what affection for a friend should be... Is tough. Which is why I have cut every ex boyfriend out of my life entirely. Or do we decide to be try be a couple again even though we both know we're probably not right for eachother. Everyone else says were not a good couple either. Wish I had like a light switch for emotions so I could agree...That would be awesome. (ps sorry Chris if you still read my blog, for blurting all my relationship/emotional dirt for all to read but I needed to get it out. At least posting it will stop the constant questions on a relationship status we're still trying to figure out)